I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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