Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
