i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
My mom just told me that the key to a successful marriage is never seeing your partner take a shit.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
Don't feel bad sweetie, you're not the only classy one in town. I'm still driving around with that tupperware of tequila in my cup holder from last week's Margarita Monday.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
My life. Always pantsless and occasionally topless.
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