From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
It's not called being bisexual its called making out with anyone that has a mouth
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
There was probably a tattoo above her soulless vagina that read 'it's a trap!' Yet you ignored it
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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