I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
