Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
I love that she's always that person who people think it's a good idea to invite her to something. and then she's there and you realize, "nope."
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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