Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
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