You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
So I wake up this morning with a bottle of dish detergent and a dildo. Good call on bringing those girls from community college.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
I don't know what to do with my life other than going on Reddit and watching porn.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
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