At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
This guy punched out a light, puked in the sink, stole the mailbox, then tried to tell ME that I had to leave the party... Then his dog shit on the floor.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
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