im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
