That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
Just took my morning after pill in the library
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I bought new panties to console myself ... you know, because I am going to lose my ovaries. Well, if I don't die of a heart attack first. But at least when the EMS folks find me, I'll be finely dressed from the waist down.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
