actually, I'm a sock model
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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