I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Randomize
