I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
nutella sex= disaster
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Randomize
