Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
