She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Do you want the good news or bad news first?
bad news
The bad news is i thew up on your bed, the good news is i found out who ate your cheetos.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Me. You. Shitty green clothes from Savers that we will dub alligator costumes. Middle of the quad tomorrow at noon. Bring your alligator voice and the pearls before swine comic.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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