Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
so literally, as soon as i tripped and fell and hit the floor the earthquake started. hows THAT for a self esteem boost?
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
It was like he was 23 all over again. Madness. I. was. so. scared.
Randomize
