I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
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