I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
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