I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
Randomize
