careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
In my next life I better get to be a bird. Fuck flying. I'm gonna shit on your car. Every. Day.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize