i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
We stopped her at 12
12 shots? Or 12 midnight?
Which answer would freak you out less
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
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