shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
how come everytime i call mom shes doing tequila shots
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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