whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Randomize
