So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
And I'm laying here struggling with the notion that I need to put pants on.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
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