He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
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