I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
Randomize
