Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
While at warped tour today a girl was crowd surfing and her vagina landed in my face, I call that a successfull day.
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Im sorry for drunkenly throwing your phone into the ocean. At the time it seemed like a good way for you not to text him
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Last night you were throwing up in my toilet singing "all by myself."
Randomize
