Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
It wasn't as awesome as they lead everyone to believe. No stripper. Ran out of booze. The chipmunk. He was real.
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