So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
I guess I called her at 2am, demanding that she bring us food. She told us to order pizza, and I yelled "DON'T MENTION PIZZA!" I recall nothing.
Randomize
