let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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