he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Randomize
