i just made my gag reflex go away.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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