Non-Jews are for practice
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
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