Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
YAS. BRING CRAB.
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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