He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
