Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I refuse to fake an orgasm. If I'm dating him, he better work for that shit.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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