Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I have beer and butt plugs...pretty sure I will find a way to entertain myself while I wait
duddde i wasn't even home last night and someone elses clothes are on my floor and there glow sticks everywhere?!
Randomize