drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize