Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
