You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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