I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
so let's talk penis.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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