At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
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