yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We didn't have a blender so we made the margaritas by running over a garbagebag full of ice with the car and then stirring it with a knife in a French-press coffee pot. CAN YOU SAY RESOURCEFUL?
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
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