you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Randomize