The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
He didnt have condoms & didnt trust himself to pull out. Thats when I knew he was a keeper. So I blew him so he knew I was a keeper too.
True romance of the 21st century.
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
Randomize