make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
