I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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