weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
maybe tonight we can turn coloring into a drinking game
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
OK, the bar's closing. Do I go to home to my wife or my girlfriend?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
God I need to hump something, right now.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
Randomize
