im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
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I just ran into mom and dad day drinking at the bar while I skipped class and was day drinking at the same bar.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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