People with herpes should wear stickers.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
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