if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
