how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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