But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
I'm eating mac and cheese for dinner that way when I puke later it'll be festive halloween orange.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
