we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize