Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
in mid cry she says "I can be a whore if I want to"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Randomize
