I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
Randomize
