remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
