he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Randomize
