Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm pretty sure last night was the first time I've seen someone drink beer-soaked paper towels. Ever.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
Idk dude but he said something bout his "dick was gonna be so tan" then he jus jumped out of the car
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
He heard our neighbor’s vibrator through the wall, knocked on her door and now they’re doing it
The blonde?!? That’s just unfair! His penis already has a fairy tale existence
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