did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize