would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
Randomize
