Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
i've been lying on top of my bed for the past 20 minutes
i'm about to blow half an adderall though and try to rally
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
Randomize
