i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
