youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Time for jim to play the "dont seriously consider pooping in the trash" game
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize
